lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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