you win again, gameday.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
