dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
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The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
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I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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