What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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