you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
