I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
