i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize