I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
