Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
