It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
