the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Threesome in a minivan. New low
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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