are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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