I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
