garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Randomize
