I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize