Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
