maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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