Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
