He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I've blown a few things in my day
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Randomize
