margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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