It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
