corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
