The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
