If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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