so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
