glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I cannot find my penis.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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