I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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