all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
