Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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