its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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