did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
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There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
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So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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