Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
