did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Randomize
