i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize