Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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