i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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