Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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