My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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