He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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