Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize