her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize