Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
