Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
