I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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