Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
You are the jesus of drinking
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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