great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
