Just mADE A PArabola og urine
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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