Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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