man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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