So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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