just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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