i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
