And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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