We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
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Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
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All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
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