Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
And then my night got REAL pukey
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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