then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
My first STD was from a foam party
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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