Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
