Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
