White coat. Heels.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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