better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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