I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
