Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I feel like abortions should bother me more
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
