I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
