Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.