The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
